Lilac Dreams

​Once in a while, a project drops into your lap that is the perfect fit. That happened to me with Lilac Dreams, a book of poetry that was created as a memorial to its author, Sara Kovar. 

Sara passed away unexpectedly this past February at the age of 70. She had written poetry most of her life. Although she’d shared some of her poems with friends and family, she had never seriously sought publication. Her husband, Pat, wanted to collect her work into a book and offer it as a gift to the people who had reached out to him after her death.

​I didn’t know Pat and Sara, but they were friends of Linda Hayen, my co-author on The Everybody Club. Linda’s husband gave my name to Pat. After Pat and I talked on the phone, we decided to move forward. The timing was good for me (Covid having put a damper on other opportunities), but more than that, I was drawn to the idea itself. I found it touching that a grieving husband would want to honor his wife in this way.

In her poetry, Sara explored topics that are relatable to many of us. She wrote about children growing up, parents aging and dying, seasons changing. She wrote about specific memories—a picture in her grandparents’ home, a stormy spring day in Illinois, hearing her own voice on a recording made years earlier. She wrote about self-doubt and self-worth, depression, anger over an abusive childhood. She even wrote a tribute to her beloved cowboy boots.
 
During the process of selecting, organizing, lightly editing, and proofreading, I developed a relationship with her work. Certain phrases, images, cadences are now embedded in my mind—and they are every bit as useful and important as anything I’ve read in a college textbook or literary magazine. I feel fortunate that I had the opportunity to work so closely with Sara’s poems. Sara wrote poetry for more than 50 years, just for its own sake. And that’s enough. 

With Pat’s permission, I am sharing some of the poems that I found especially meaningful.

"Summation" is the opening poem and Pat's personal favorite. It's the poem that inspired him to put together this book. 

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Anyone who has lost a pet to old age or
​a lingering illness will connect to the emotions in this poem.

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"Nightmare" is among the last poems Sara wrote. It captures what many of us have felt about our country in recent years. The wind has changed...

The next poem, "We Will See Better Days, is as optimistic as "Nightmare" is bleak. It portrays a moment of hope inspired by a song. I think most of us have had that experience: a sudden surge of emotion brought on by hearing a particular song at a particular moment.

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​"I'll kiss the winters from your eyes..."  
So beautiful.

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​Lilac Dreams is divided into three parts, and each part opens with a collage of pictures relating to the poems that follow. Design-wise, this made the book a lot more complicated (so many decisions!), but we thought readers would appreciate this personal connection to Sara. 

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​This one pulls back the curtain in a raw and powerful way. I wish I didn't relate to this poem so strongly, but I do. 

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​I love the simple, vivid imagery in this poem.

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​I've reached an age at which it's all too easy to look back and see all the things I did wrong. This poem offers acceptance and peace. 

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​Sara was a science fiction fan. (One of the poems in Lilac Dreams is a tribute to Leonard Nimoy, who played Mr. Spock on Star Trek.) As soon as I read this poem, I knew I wanted it to be the closing poem in the book. I don't know if she intended it to be about life after death or if she was sharing a pleasant daydream about traveling in space, but I love the sense of freedom and adventure and hope she conveys. 

My sincere thanks to Pat Kovar for trusting me with this project.

​In "Summation," Sara wrote, "It is up to those we leave behind to provide meaning to our days." It has been a privilege to help Pat do just that. ​